Zombies On Your Lawn
by Ciel In A Dress
Summary: When Rukia tells Ichigo there are Zombies on his lawn, he has no idea what she's talking about. IchiRuki. AU. Crack-ish.


**Zombies On Your Lawn**

"There's a zombie on your lawn," Rukia sang quietly, looking out the window of the apartment she and Ichigo shared. Frowning, Ichigo lifted his head from the homework he was attempting to finish, thinking he must have heard wrong. There was no way she could've said what he thought she'd said.

"Sorry, what?" Ichigo looked at her strangely, quickly moving to her side and looking out the window as well. As far as he could see, there were no zombies on the normal green lawn, which only served to confuse him more as he wondered how she'd gotten the idea of it in her head. He stared at her—noticing in the act that her dark hair was swaying slightly in the breeze—but she didn't meet his eyes, seeming to be in a slight daze.

"There's butter on my head." Rukia continued singing as she wandered over to the fridge and started pulling out ingredients for their dinner. Butter in the fridge, maybe, but—after checking—Ichigo was sure there was none on her head. Being quite a bit taller than her, it was easy for him to be sure. That, and the yellow colour would stand out against her raven hair.

"…What?" Ichigo followed her and forcibly took the kitchen knife out of her hand, not trusting her to cut the carrots in her current state. He let her mash the potato, though; he knew she liked turning things to mush. Treating her like a child didn't seem to bother her this particular night, although they argued about it every other night.

He chopped up all of the other vegetables, glancing at her every so often to make sure she wasn't doing anything weird or dangerous. There was no telling what out-of-the-ordinary task she could end up undertaking in her circumstances.

"I have a screen door shield." She smiled, putting the mashed potatoes into a big bowl. She was beginning to really worry him by her odd antics.

"Seriously, Rukia, what are you on?" he asked. Maybe she'd raided the medicine cupboard and had taken something she shouldn't have. It wasn't something she would usually do, though; last time he checked, Rukia was smart enough not to.

He put a hand over her forehead to check if she had a temperature. It was warm but not too warm—in other words, normal. He put all the food into pots and such and began cooking it, a theory developing that she had gone delusional from hunger as her temperature was standard so he knew she wasn't sick.

"Brains are quite rich in cholesterol," Rukia sang sweetly, leaving Ichigo to cook and going to turn on the computer, a smirk on her face. As the computer woke up from its shut-down state, she proceeded to hum a cute little tune.

Ichigo wondered if she was suggesting that they eat brains for dinner. He decided he wouldn't think about it for the fear that she would become a cannibal… or worse: a zombie.

"What kind of song is this?" By then, Ichigo had caught on that it was in fact a song and not some kind of ritualistic chant—the tune kind of gave it away. He set the timer so their dinner wouldn't burn, then he followed Rukia to the computer and leaned on her chair, standing directly behind her, trying to get her attention in any way possible.

"I like your tricycle," Rukia sang, actually catching Ichigo's eye for a second, winking and grinning, then turning back to the screen and clicking on a few things.

"I don't own a—stop ignoring me!" Ichigo was quickly becoming agitated. If this was some kind of deliberate prank, he would get her back for it. If not… well, there was an asylum down the road from his part-time job. Hang on—tricycle…? Was she talking about his—?

"Sunflower." Rukia opened a program without letting Ichigo see what it was and kept on singing the creepy song, her smile getting wider and wider. Sunflower was not the word Ichigo would've used to describe it, but with all the euphemisms these days, who knows?

"Have you lost your mind?" Ichigo sighed exasperatedly, shaking his head at her, wondering what bizarre line she would sing next. He put his arms around her from behind, becoming increasingly irritated as nothing he did could snap her out of her stupor.

"Road cones protect my head." Rukia was tapping the desk impatiently as whatever it was she was trying to open loaded slowly.

"From what exactly? You might wanna see someone about these hallucinations." Ichigo resorted to teasing her as she was still totally ignoring him. He kissed her cheek and, predictably, got no reaction.

"I'm gonna eat your brain," Rukia said in an eerie manner, sending chills down Ichigo's spine and causing him to jerk back sharply, actually believing her for a second. She turned to face him and grinned yet again, showing her teeth.

"Yeah, right, sure. I wasn't scared at all," he lied. Then the program finally finished loading. Seeing the name of it appear in big letters, he let out a short bark of laughter as it finally clicked in his head what the song was.

Plants vs. Zombies, of course.

Rukia began playing the silly little game, planting the plants she wanted and giggling as the zombies got blown up, run over, and generally lost their lives in many peculiar ways. The dancing zombies were especially hilarious to her.

Ichigo was glad Rukia wasn't actually insane—just especially fond of a game. The same could be said for many people in the world, he supposed.

* * *

**A/N: You can probably guess what song I was listening to as I wrote this. ^_^  
I had it on repeat all day. "Zombies On Your Lawn" by Laura Shigihara. It's addictive!!**


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